THE APPLE OF MY EYE IS MY APPLE...

It all began January 12, 2010.  That is the day the Fios man came to our house and hooked up our brand new computer to the internet..Until that time, we dug in our heels and refused to have anything to do with computers..We are old fashioned..I don't like modern houses, clothes, shoes..I like old stuff... period...My husband is an artist who makes his own chain,boxes..he'd make his own paint if he could get the ancient toxic stuff it takes to do that..we both thought getting a computer would be selling out..
    I also was green before green was cool..I never owned a car, used a bicycle to get around(in LA!! unheard of !!) people laughed at me..I was always being ridiculed.. We wanted to read real books, look things up in a dictionary..we still had a set of encyceopedias (thank you Jimminy Cricket!)..
   The big turning point was when we received a notice from the state of California that our tax form would no longer come in paper form..we had to fill in out"online"!!!  Horror set in...I told English Husband, you know pretty soon everything will be online..we won't know how to  do anything, maybe its time..
       It was the end of the year..We could use the deduction..We went to the computer shop..We told the kid we needed a computer..He talked real fast..we didn't know what he was saying..When we told him we
never had a computer he stopped talking..He was speechless..dumbfounded..mute..I don't think he ever ran
across people like us..We were from another planet.  How could it be that we never had a computer?  It was as if we had never seen a car or used a telephone..Freaks!!  After he got ahold of himself, he started to show us various models.  They all seemed nice enough.  How do you buy something when you don't know what it is that you are looking for?  How many rams do you want? What's a ram??  I'm  telling you we didn't know squat.. Husband said" My gallery owner uses an Apple computer..what about one of those"..His eyes lit up..glazed over..come this way he said..We entered into a seperate portal in the store..There they were...sleek, sexy,  simple yet complex..downright beautiful looking...I knew it was the one..Garage Band...photobooth...itunes..magic mouse..no wires...gorgeous.." we want one of those" we cried...And so it happened..we bought it home..

                                                     

  And now..Things are different...my world is larger..colorful..more expressive...A world has opened up that I didn't even know exsisted...stay tuned...

INTERNATIONAL WOMANS DAY !!!!

To honor this woman in particular, one of my best new blogging buddies, Debra She Who Seeks, asked me to use my song for her blog..I had only been blogging about a week, and I just couldn't believe that someone would want to do this...Cool beyond measure..
  I wrote this song about a year ago..I woke up at around 4AM with the first line and the melody very clear in my head..I got up to write it down and the whole thing just flowed out effortlessly..I wish they were all that easy to write..  I am now going to attempt to do my first link!?!  If this doesn't work just go on over to SHEWHOSEEKS the long way... You Can't Keep A Good Girl Down

GIVE THANKS SUNDAY....

Take a moment to breathe in..gently close your eyes and give thanks for all the wonderful things in your life.. BREATHE IN GRATITUDE  slowly to the count of five...EXHALE LOVE for the count of five...

ONE THING LEADS TO ANOTHER...

It all started innocently enough....I had boxes of broken rosaries, wads of tangled chain, religious medals, bits and bobs of broken jewelry parts sitting collecting dust in my work room...I was having a good clean out and when I got to this stuff I had to ponder...Salvation Army? Box it all up and sell it at my next flea market?? I wondered... Some of the stuff was just way too cool to give up...Maybe I can fix it!!...I still had some jewelry tools from the 70's when I took come classes at the community college..I'll just bring this stuff in the house, sit at my kitchen table with it and try and repair some of it....Fine...good start....But then I needed some jump rings...then a little bit of sterling chain.... a clasp... some little crystal beads.. another pliers .. brass wire ... brass wire in 18 guage... in 24 guage.. My little fix it project grew... Pretty soon I was at that table for 8 hours...Then I went to a bead show.. BIG GIGANTIC TROUBLE..... Beads and beads and more beads... mountains of them... AND I WANTED THEM ALL!!! ... It's been just over a year that I began "my little project"..... My kitchen table has not had a dish or bowl or plate set on it in ages.. I haven't seen the wood of the tabletop in eons. It is covered, saturated, filled with " My Little Project" REGRETS?? Another fine mess I got myself into? Yet another enterprise that I'll start and not finish? I think not.. People like my jewelry..I have been known to sell it right off my neck..Another little sideline for me that I find fullfillment in. Sometimes this is how the course of our lives goes... One thing leads to another and another and with that comes the growth and the progress and the joy and delight one gets from the seemily little things...

YOU LIKE ME, YOU REALLY LIKE ME....

I'm going to just jump right in uncensored and thank you all so much for the uplifting, supportive comments I received.. I did not write the post with the intention of getting flattered or for people to tell me how wonderful I am....I hate false flattery.. and self pity... But I am truly amazed how out of the thousands of people out there I have attracted such a loving and supportive group of people... Cheers to you all...I want you to know that I do not go around ( all the time) in food stained sweats with greasy hair ...I love to dress up even for the most modest occasions.. I shower and wash my hair daily...I work out hard at Yoga class almost everyday...Beatnheart's heart beats with a passion for life with an intense desire to improve and be the best she can be...I have taken the vow to no longer sit on the sidelines and watch the popular girls and boys have fun...I know I can easily fall into old patterns of I'm not good enough.. I have been there and done that a million and one times... I have every intention of moving forward and learning from my past mistakes. I have always thought that when a person gets older they slow down... You can't teach an old dog new tricks and all of that... I feel my life has just begun in many ways and all the old garbage has been properly disposed of and I am left with a clean slate...and a chance to be the woman I have always wanted to be... I jumped head first into doing this blog... I have never written anything nor displayed my feelings in such a public fashion... The benefits have astounded me!! I want to thank spellcheck from the bottom of my heart for without you I couldn't have done all of this.

I would also like to thank Sally Fields for her famous quote and to those of you who got it and my sense of humor.  For the rest of you...toodles.

IN A FUNK...

Today, after reading my favorite blog Tongue In Cheek, I am simply at a loss for words... My feelings of inadequacy are rearing their ugly head and I just feel that anything I have to say and anyway that I try to present it will come across as bland, insipid, boring and dull.... This is what has stopped me in my tracks in the past...If I can't do it perfectly or "be the best" well then I'd rather not do it at all....I'll sit on the sidelines while I watch others succeed...Maybe I'll eat a candy bar or two to make myself feel better.....or I'll be angry....or hurt... or feel sorry for myself and respond with some sort of totally misplaced frustration toward myself or others.... The grey days I described yesterday have been replaced by sunny, blue, glorious skies...but today the greyness is in my heart and in my head....I fear so much of being ridiculed that I simply do nothing at all..... I isolate...I overeat or drink or watch tv...and the vicious cycle repeats itself... .When I feel I can never be as good as others , I do nothing ..... If I don't do anything there is nothing to ridicule...so the real me, the best that I can be is hidden away in baggy clothes, unwashed hair , inappropriate behavior, loudness, crudeness... I act in the exact opposite of what I want to be....what I admire in other women....

All THE LEAVES ARE BROWN..and the sky is grey..

The days here continue to be overcast and grey....The air is fresh and filled with the fragrance of the Jasmine vine that grows crazily around my house...My favorite time of the year...WINTER IN CALIFORNIA...this is the time when all is in bloom... when you can breathe clearly... a fire burns in the fireplace.... My favorite clothes come out... sweaters and gloves... thick tights.... boots... wooly scarves... The wool coat I bought in London... .Wrapping myself in swaddling knits.... When you have sunshine for 300 days a year, 10 inches of rain total... Grey becomes soothing ...comforting... It takes the edge off the dust and dirt and smog and leaves covered in the grunge from the cars and planes and trucks and ships coming in and out of this harbour town...

HAPPY 90TH BIRTHDAY MOMMY !!!!

TODAY IS DOROTHY BRAEGER WOLFF'S 90th birthday...can i ask all my dear blogger friends to send into the universe warm loving thoughts to a woman who has lived a long life of joy and sorrow.. struggle and pain..ups and downs and over and outs..... Mamma , may a sweet gentle warm feeling envelope you today and the rest of your days...may the remainder of your days be filled with peace...I love you....Happy birthday little one ..... Happy Birthday sweet girl......