Teaching the old gal some new tricks...

This little girl needs some down time and a rest .  It’s

been a really busy week with many new challenges.

I have started a job.

BIG, huge for me.

I have not worked a “ a real job” in over twenty years.

I have never done anything that involves computers,

inputting facts into them, getting information from

people, remembering stuff (a lot of stuff!) all while

standing in the public eye with people waiting in a line

waiting for me to do just that with fingers tapping and eyes rolling.

I have been in training the last three weeks and it has worn me

out a lot  more than I thought it would.  It is not coming easy.

 I just don’t remember things very well (unless its a song,

or where did I buy that, what did I pay for it,  that restaurant was good and

what did I have to

eat) you know, the important stuff..anyhow

  it has been eye opening for me and very

tiring.   I want to succeed but am not certain I will.  It is

 putting me in a place of doubt, fear and most of all

feeling less than.   I was so hopeful and  happy to have been

hired at all and now I feel like there might be something wrong with me

and my capacity to learn.  My mentor has said

that everyone else is flying though this training and have already 

begun working...and then there’s me...  But on a good note, she

said she wants me to work there because I’m good with people

and dealing with the public.  But panic easily sets in and the hot

flashes come on when there’s stress and I’m standing there in my

little suit jacket with sweat running down me and the intense

urge to run to the safety of my house.

  Whatever the outcome, I know this has

been a leap of faith for me and certainly stepping outside my  cozy

comfort zone.  And that in itself is a good thing.