Wednesday, March 3, 2010

IN A FUNK...

Today, after reading my favorite blog Tongue In Cheek, I am simply at a loss for words... My feelings of inadequacy are rearing their ugly head and I just feel that anything I have to say and anyway that I try to present it will come across as bland, insipid, boring and dull.... This is what has stopped me in my tracks in the past...If I can't do it perfectly or "be the best" well then I'd rather not do it at all....I'll sit on the sidelines while I watch others succeed...Maybe I'll eat a candy bar or two to make myself feel better.....or I'll be angry....or hurt... or feel sorry for myself and respond with some sort of totally misplaced frustration toward myself or others.... The grey days I described yesterday have been replaced by sunny, blue, glorious skies...but today the greyness is in my heart and in my head....I fear so much of being ridiculed that I simply do nothing at all..... I isolate...I overeat or drink or watch tv...and the vicious cycle repeats itself... .When I feel I can never be as good as others , I do nothing ..... If I don't do anything there is nothing to ridicule...so the real me, the best that I can be is hidden away in baggy clothes, unwashed hair , inappropriate behavior, loudness, crudeness... I act in the exact opposite of what I want to be....what I admire in other women....

17 comments:

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Oh no! Try using the Phuckem Philosophy of Life -- if someone doesn't like what you're doing, what you look like, what you think or write -- PHUCKEM!!! Just be your own beautiful and unique self. No one can do that as well as you.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

I'm not entirely sure what you mean by a sidebar BUT just send me the wording you want to use for copyright protection and I'll put it in my post. I think that would sufficiently note and assert your copyright? I'll also put that I have your permission to use the video.

kelro said...

Well girl, there's 14 of us that love ya, and the number is growing daily. Chin up sistah, you're a winner in my book!

AlaskaSue said...

Feast your eyes on your favorite creation...the perfection of it and wonder of your accomplishment and most assuredly you WILL smile! Even more you have shared what you have created with others (like me!)and are greatly admired for the professionalism and beauty of the wonderful adornmnents you have created with your own hands. Anyone, with practice, can acquire objects 'd art Cynthia. You have upped the ante!! Also remember that the person you admire the most has their own personal struggles. Debra She Who Seeks summed it up very well when she said, "Just be your own beautiful and unique self. No one can do that as well as you."

Jeanette said...

We are so much alike. This exact same fear stopped me for years. I have a degree in photography and haven't taken a real photo in years. I never even pursued my degree because I was just so afraid nobody would ever like my work - went the business route instead - yuck! I'm finally rediscovering ME and you are discovering YOU. Tongue in Cheek is also my favorite blog (how we met I think). This is a FABULOUS post I read this morning which I connected with and I think you will as well. Read this and maybe feel better.

http://martawrites.blogspot.com/2010/03/blogging-jealousy.html

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Thanks for the wording -- I'll use it. Okay, now I know what you're asking about Labels in the sidebar! When you're in Blogger on your Dashboard, click on Layout, then on Add a Gadget. A whole list of different widgets will be there to choose from. Scroll down until you see Labels and click on that. It will give you various ways of displaying the labels that you put on the bottom of each post. Pick the one you want, place it on your sidebar where you want it (click and drag) and then click Save.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

To put a label on the bottom of each post -- when you're drafting the post, down at the bottom of the form you'll see a blank spot where you can type in a label for it. Beside the box, it says Show All. It's a shortcut. After you've started using labels, just click on that and it will show you all the labels you've used so far. You can just click on what you want and it will be automatically put in the blank spot. Saves you typing it all over again. You can make up new labels whenever you want.

Rosemary said...

OK,
You need to snap out of it!!!
Thanks for the nice comments, yes I do shop the Rose Bowl, but my cut off is usually May, because it's so hot. Yes, you should come to Ventura next time. I think it's at the end of April. Not as big as Long Beach though.
Now, I found your blog, I like your blog, I like you. You seem really cool, nice etc.
You need to just get in the blogging groove.
I love Corey's blog too, but she is in France. We are in California, so we are cool too, only in a different way. I don't take the best photos like she does, or write the way she does, but that's what makes us all different.
Check out more blogs, you will be inspired. Go to my sidebar and check some out.
Step away from the candy, and wash that hair.
Enjoy some good TV tonight!! Maybe American Idol.
Well that is my speech for today.
Glad you visited me.
Rosemary

Pooch Morning Glory said...

hi cynthia

its ok to be in a funk... put a time limit on it,
do it anyway ( the blog ) YOUR way,
but pretty up first. you will feel better!

~laura X

miss*R said...

you are suffering what we all suffer from sometime in our blogging life.. and that is 'wishing to be liked'...
I get like it, I know Fyrebird does too and many, many others [i have been blogging for nearly 5yrs and it affects many of us].. I love Tongue in Cheek too, but we cannot all live in France.. but I am sure where you live you can find gorgeous bits that sing to your soul.. just write about what you like, what you see, how you live .. but do it for yourself..
I feel blessed that our paths have crossed and I thankyou each day in my heart when you leave supportive loving messages that help me get through the days of stress at the moment. xoxo
[if you need any help with getting the blog how you wish it to be, email me through my profile and I will do my best to help] xo

Fire Byrd said...

You are you, tongue in cheek is herself. You are just as gorgeous as any other human being.
Blogging does have a weird affect on people sometime. It allows us to hook into no-one likes me, I'm not good enough, why won't people be my friend, why I don't have as many comments as others and on and on. I know this as it happens to me all the time, then I shake it off and think sod 'em I'm me and if people don't get me then that's their loss.
I don't know the blog you speak of but I do know yours and I like it here. There will always be fantastically succesful blogs and then the rest of us. And their words are no better than ours they just hit a spot when the whole world wants to follow their every intake of breath.
Quality and proper friends is where it works for me.
xx

Duchess of Tea said...

Darling, I popped in to personally thank you for the sweet birthday wishes you left for Christopher. We are both ever so grateful for you kindness.

Love & Hugs
Duchess

Pam said...

Hey, you with the baggy clothes- you're on my favourites list! Stick me on the growing list of those that love ya.

La Petite Gallery said...

Darling don't worry about people liking your work. Just do what you love and feel. To hell with the public. Art is in the heart. If they cant see it you don't want them to have it.

Yvonne

Jaliya said...

I second La Petite Gallery -- "Art is in the heart."

Pump it out, girl!

... and wear all the comfy, baggy sloppies you want. I'm in my PJs right now :-)

Krista Beth said...

I feel the same way about my writing. I read a blog that makes me look like a toddler trying to put sentences together. It's ok. We can't all be great writers or the world's greatest fashion designer (my goal) but that doesn't make what we have to say worth any less.

Laura..DancesWithTeddyBears said...

I give no words of wisdom, like Get Over It. I've heard them too many times before.
Just know that you are not alone. I feel your pain and truly understand.

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