How will I change things?
I am sometimes a shadow of myself
and afraid to let myself soar...
Will I fly away like a bird so high above..
because flying away is a great way to escape all those
negative feelings and I can think of many ways to fly
away...I’m good at that.
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| all art work by Giuesppe de Piero |
mine is faraway in miles and in my heart, and it feels as if it is about to explode into a million
fragments...my emotions are on the surface and the ones that are buried or that I thought were
buried come forth with a vengeance. And I feel as fragile as a tiny hummingbird with broken
wing gasping for its last breath while it lays in the palm of my hand...
But then a new year approaches...and my thoughts change to how can I make things better..
On coming to a close of the year 2010, I pause and look at me and what I’ve become...I have
changed...I am different and I like it. It’s taken me long enough but I think that at last I can say
“I love you” and mean it. And although there are many things that I could change and possibly should
change in my personality, there are loads of things I like too...and these are the very things I plan on
focusing on in this new year that is approaching. I want to be honest and open...kinder and gentler...
quieter...eliminate false fears, don’t let negative thinking cloud my vision, work for things I want and
naysayers be damned...Shedding old skin is good...healing, cleansing, rejuvenating...still authentic but not being afraid to show who I am, warts and all. Watch me cry...see me laugh...let me put my foot in my mouth one more time. And when I do make a bad, let me learn from it and not instead isolate in my
shell smouldering with anger or hurt and pain. I can’t change just to please you, but I might change to please myself.
