Sunday, March 20, 2011

Teaching the old gal some new tricks...

This little girl needs some down time and a rest .  It’s
been a really busy week with many new challenges.

I have started a job.
BIG, huge for me.

I have not worked a “ a real job” in over twenty years.
I have never done anything that involves computers,
inputting facts into them, getting information from
people, remembering stuff (a lot of stuff!) all while
standing in the public eye with people waiting in a line
waiting for me to do just that with fingers tapping and eyes rolling.

I have been in training the last three weeks and it has worn me
out a lot  more than I thought it would.  It is not coming easy.
 I just don’t remember things very well (unless its a song,
or where did I buy that, what did I pay for it,  that restaurant was good and
what did I have to
eat) you know, the important stuff..anyhow
  it has been eye opening for me and very
tiring.   I want to succeed but am not certain I will.  It is
 putting me in a place of doubt, fear and most of all
feeling less than.   I was so hopeful and  happy to have been
hired at all and now I feel like there might be something wrong with me
and my capacity to learn.  My mentor has said
that everyone else is flying though this training and have already 
begun working...and then there’s me...  But on a good note, she
said she wants me to work there because I’m good with people
and dealing with the public.  But panic easily sets in and the hot
flashes come on when there’s stress and I’m standing there in my
little suit jacket with sweat running down me and the intense
urge to run to the safety of my house.

  Whatever the outcome, I know this has
been a leap of faith for me and certainly stepping outside my  cozy
comfort zone.  And that in itself is a good thing. 


LaaLaa said...

Keep at it. lady! You'll get there. Remember that everyone does things at different paces so don't beat yourself up.

Cynthia Fox-Giddens said...

Congrats on the new job. I'm sure you will do just fine and it sounds like the trainer already sees good things in you. All the best!

Mind Of Mine said...

Congratulations on the new job.

I am not going to lie or anything but sometimes it does suck. I really do hope it works out well for you.

Kath said...

Well good for you, that you are persevering although you find it all scary. If it's any comfort, I am the same. Since I turned 50, my capacity to learn and remember stuff, has definately deteriated. My Husband calls in the "mentalpause" LOL
You obviously have skills valuable to your employer and they want to keep you. Everone has their individual strengths.
Hang on in there, I'm sure it will get easier.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

I'm rootin' for ya! Give it your best shot -- no one can ask you for more than that.

mise said...

Good luck, Cynthia! You have such charm and presence that in one week you'll be the best. The technical skills are easily learnt; personality isn't.

Pam said...

Oh brave you! Cheering you on from the sidelines Cynthia!xx

Gracie's Cottage said...

Way to get out it will all work itself out. If it's not turning out to be what you wanted...well there's no shame in moving out and moving on!



Castles Crowns and Cottages said...

Teeeeheee... I love your picture with Paul McCartney!!! I AM INTRIGUED BY YOUR PROFILE..I am from Los Angeles, but have not lived there for at least 23 years. I LOVE SANTA MONICA where you love to go shopping; I know that place like the back of my hand. I am with ya in having to learn new things. I am an artist at heart, but a teacher by profession and talk about learning new things....I have been teaching for 8 years...a LATER IN LIFE change of jobs, and what a scary job! But I do prefer writing, art, music..I play the harp for fun and have a beauty of a harp in my home studio. THANK YOU FOR THE SHORT BUT EXTREMELY TOUCHING COMMENT...."brilliant", that made my day! GOOD LUCK ON YOUR NEW JOB!!! Anita

jeanette from everton terrace said...

I'm so excited! Be nicer to yourself and take your time. You created a blog last year and knew nothing about that and look at you now. Slow and steady. If this was one of us you would be full of praise and telling us we could do it - be as lovely a friend to yourself. Where are you working? Learning new things and meeting new people - so fun!
OF COURSE your Dad flew those planes, we are always on the same wavelength.

Riki Schumacher said...

Ah ha! That's what you have been doing. Okay, pep talk...hang in there. DON'T give up. Sounds a bit like the gal who found me last year and didn't know a thing about blogging, or tech stuff?? Remember her, and look at you now. You can do this, whatever it is. Funny how many times people see the potential we have, that we don't see. You can do this Cynthia. I know you can, so just go do it!! Big hug, take a deep breath, and have fun. Riki

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

I wish you much good luck with this new endevor....I'm betting everything will calm down once you are actually 'meeting the public'...! Fingers Crossed here for you! And I send you hugs....!!

Marian said...

Well done Cynthia. I admire your gutsy decision to embark on a new job that involves training etc. It's really difficult to move out of our comfort zones. Hang in there. Bravo.

Pooch Purple Reign said...

its not always easy to step out of our comfort zone. you did it!
~laura xx

Julie@beingRUBY said...

Hy Cynthia
congrats on your new job.. I can imagine how exhausting it must be to go through training.. but also.. to be in the public eye!! kudos to you!!

Hope this week is calmer for you!! Thanks for the lovely comments too.. always makes my day brighter.. ciao xxxx Julie

La Petite Gallery said...

Starting any job after being a homebody is very difficult. I know the stress you are feeling, just hang in there and think I can do this and you will. My Gosh,
you worked with antiques, so did I that is hard and you have a blog, where did you learn that. You are a winner kiddo. Big hug rest up.

betweenreader said...

Thank goodness employers are not the ultimate judges of our worth, we are! Hang in there -- you are probably under employed.

Joanna Jenkins said...

High Five yo YOU and keep up the good work. It's a big step going back to a "traditional" job and it sounds like your heart is in the right place and things will work out fabulously.
Hang in there!

koralee said...

Oh sweet can do it! Just give yourself time...everyone learns at a different level..I know it will work out! HUgs. xoxox

kelro said...

...that explains why you've been out of touch lately! Godspeed lady. Hang in there, I know you'll rise up and shine. xoxo

Maura @ Lilac Lane Cottage said...

Oh Cynthia my heart goes out to you! Good for you for taking that 'leap of faith'...I KNOW you can do it!!! I can SO relate to how you're feeling right now. In 83 we bought a little gift shop in a small ski town. The lady had run it into the ground trying to sell it and it was in a very dead location...which was perfect for me as I was scared to death! What seemed like it was going to be a fun adventure turned out to be a nightmare for me at first...I was SO unsure of myself and terrified of the fancy cash register. I had a lady help me for a day and that was it I was on my own! Well I'm happy to say that I survived ...I did it while raising 3 children (one was only starting kindergarten) and doing janitor work on the weekend and had a hubby who worked full time. I came out of my 'shell' and started having a ball talking to the customers and the shop thrived. So Miss Cynthia...if I can do it....YOU CAN DO IT!!! Just try and get lots of sleep and take a deep breath and think positive...I know you've got it in you. You'll do awesome!
Hugs to you my friend and GO GET EM!
Maura :) X


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