A Lalique Femme de Mer fountain now graces my bedroom window.

This  beautiful cast glass masque was just floating

around in our back garden.  I asked English husband,

“could you make me a water feature outside our rather

dark and dreary second bedroom window?"

and of course before I knew it, he was

busily at work doing just that.

and a miracle occured.

Lovliness...tranquilty...gently trinkling water.

The sound is all throughout the house.

Now I sit and meditate and stare at her pretty face.

The tv doesn’t even go on.  

Talk about a transformation.

The Feng Shui has changed.

The bad mojo banished.

The yin and the yang are in harmony.

The whole room  is now a retreat of serenity.

Sometimes it’s a gentle breeze...

I have been feeling my mama...

sometimes standing right next to me.

I was in the garage and I smelled her perfume...

I snapped my head around but she wasn’t there.

I was hoping she was.

Standing there...  All young and pretty

and healthy and happy...and living

a life different than the one she had.

one door shuts and another one opens

or so they say.

I know that she’s in a better place.

and her tears are dried gently with

a loving hand 

as i wish mine were right now.

There is nothing in the world that prepares you

for losing your  mama.  Even when you know

it’s the right thing and the natural thing...

and something we all must go through.

I’m waiting for things  to get better...I can’t seem

to make it through a day without crying...and I’m

grouchy and short tempered...and I miss her so.

And I don’t know what normal is anymore...

when a gentle breeze blows I feel her and I

feel her soft mama hand stroke my cheek and

dry my tears and make it all better.

And I long for childhood days of carefree flight and fancy free

happiness.  And running swiftly across the sand of Lake Michigan

chasing gulls and laughing and yelling at the top of my lungs

while breathing that briny air and then hearing mama calling us in to a supper

of her extraordinary fried chicken and hearing dad’s change jingle  in his

pockets while coming up the drive after a long day at the plant.  

We grow up when our parents die and the childhood days

are a faded memory that will never return and I can’t go back

and I really wish I could.

she was there with me from my first heartbeat

miss you mom.your baby.

The Crazy LA River

We had one heck of a storm the other day.

It rained buckets in the early morning...

so unusual for us at this time of the year.

 I live about 5 blocks from the L.A. River,

which is kind of a river but basically they

have turned it into a big concrete ditch.

Normally it flows very gently,

but when it rains a lot it gets pretty crazy.

We get every cigarette butt, Styrofoam cup,

and baby diaper that all the not so nice

people throw away in not so polite places

floating down this river which leads into

the Pacific Ocean.  

No wonder they have that giant mess in the

ocean near Japan.  

The Great Pacific Garbage Patch.

yikes.

Two times the size of Texas.

90% plastic.

In some areas over 90 feet deep!

scary.

You can see from this picture that the water doesn’t

have too far to go before it reaches the top. 

This is from only an hour or so of rain.

Thank you all for your kind messages, emails, phone calls,

cards, flowers and presents after my mom’s passing.

I am coming around.   It’s easier because I know my

mom needed to go...she was suffering and now she is finally

at rest.

Your friendship and caring has meant so much to me.  xxc