THE BIGGEST BLIZZARD IN THE LAST 20 YEARS...

      Chapter one:          

     March 11 will always be a memorable day for me.   It was on that day in 1971 that I ran away from home.
    All through high school, I was a lonely girl.  I was chubby, acne faced,painfully shy and never had a date. I went to the prom with my big brother.  I didn't have a future.  College was not an option as I hated school and didn't want any more of it.  Living in Wisconsin in the 60's, a girl's choice (at least for me) were slim.  Marriage or factory work...  Then I met a boy...He actually liked me...He saw something in me no one else had.   He was a nice boy, a decent boy from a nice loving family. He had been in the Army, didn't go to Vietnam but was stationed in the States..He had just been released.  He was a hippie.  I fell head over heels for this boy.  He had lots of friends.  Because of him I was finally in a group and they were the cool people that I had always seen in the teen bars, wearing plaid shirts, jeans, hiking boots, long hair, nodding to the music by the front of the stage, going into the parking lot during breaks..I finally belonged.  I was in love.  It was wonderful.
      Then one day he told me that he was going to see his brother in  California.  Did I want to go along?Well without thinking or planning or wondering what would happen once I got there, or where we were going to live and what we would we live on, I said yes.  I told my parents.. they were not happy.. I said I was going... " how do I plan on getting to California"  my father asked?  Why, we're hitchhiking!! I replied..

  And so, many years ago, in a time that now seems so innocent..I left home.  I was 19 years old.  In the biggest snowstorm in years, with my mother locked in her room and my own father in tears, I walked out that front door with one suitcase and a guitar.  With no plan.  Terrified but excited. And on a snowy interstate with the boy I loved, I began a new life.  On my way to Venice, California.....A place I never heard of and knew nothing about.

MARTHA MY DEAR....

   Yesterday, I went into Santa Monica to do my weekly run to spend a day in my mall space to tidy up and add new stock...A big piece had sold so I had my work cut out for me, so I decided just to do an overhaul and change the look... One of the sales people in the store came to see me and asked me if I had any hooks...I always stock them because I love them and they sell well...So I gave him a basket of them to show a customer.  I was dusting the cobwebs out of the corners on my hands and knees when I looked up as he was coming back with them and low and behold I see that the customer was Martha Stewart...Well... whether  you like her or not, when you see her standing there in yourlittleshopIt is quite
a shock to the system...after all she is the one who almost single handedly started this whole collecting thing and walls of pottery and mossy green and the whole thing... When she showed McCoy Pottery in her magazine I couldn't keep it  in stock...she was that influential...And now she was standing in my stall...
  I didn't say anything just bowed and curtsied...    She seemed gracious and not stand offish..
  You know, I use to think she was a snobby control freak..Now, I see her differently...Maybe her little
"time inside" has given her some street cred...I admire her now..She went through hell and came out on the otherside..looking rather hot I might add...Didn't see any tats though.......

PS...To answer some questions:  she bought those hooks from me..She was in my space for about 6 seconds....From other spaces she got blue and white plates...thats all I was able to see without being too dang obvious.  She looked great. No lines. No wrinkles. Tight black jeans. Little black flats. Black long sweater. No I can't take photos of "the celebs".  We get lots of them in the store and its a big no, no, for us to take pics of them.  Hooks were metal ones like in a grade school locker rooms.. I buy lots of them when on buying trips to Wisconsin.

THE APPLE OF MY EYE IS MY APPLE...

It all began January 12, 2010.  That is the day the Fios man came to our house and hooked up our brand new computer to the internet..Until that time, we dug in our heels and refused to have anything to do with computers..We are old fashioned..I don't like modern houses, clothes, shoes..I like old stuff... period...My husband is an artist who makes his own chain,boxes..he'd make his own paint if he could get the ancient toxic stuff it takes to do that..we both thought getting a computer would be selling out..
    I also was green before green was cool..I never owned a car, used a bicycle to get around(in LA!! unheard of !!) people laughed at me..I was always being ridiculed.. We wanted to read real books, look things up in a dictionary..we still had a set of encyceopedias (thank you Jimminy Cricket!)..
   The big turning point was when we received a notice from the state of California that our tax form would no longer come in paper form..we had to fill in out"online"!!!  Horror set in...I told English Husband, you know pretty soon everything will be online..we won't know how to  do anything, maybe its time..
       It was the end of the year..We could use the deduction..We went to the computer shop..We told the kid we needed a computer..He talked real fast..we didn't know what he was saying..When we told him we
never had a computer he stopped talking..He was speechless..dumbfounded..mute..I don't think he ever ran
across people like us..We were from another planet.  How could it be that we never had a computer?  It was as if we had never seen a car or used a telephone..Freaks!!  After he got ahold of himself, he started to show us various models.  They all seemed nice enough.  How do you buy something when you don't know what it is that you are looking for?  How many rams do you want? What's a ram??  I'm  telling you we didn't know squat.. Husband said" My gallery owner uses an Apple computer..what about one of those"..His eyes lit up..glazed over..come this way he said..We entered into a seperate portal in the store..There they were...sleek, sexy,  simple yet complex..downright beautiful looking...I knew it was the one..Garage Band...photobooth...itunes..magic mouse..no wires...gorgeous.." we want one of those" we cried...And so it happened..we bought it home..

                                                     

  And now..Things are different...my world is larger..colorful..more expressive...A world has opened up that I didn't even know exsisted...stay tuned...

INTERNATIONAL WOMANS DAY !!!!

To honor this woman in particular, one of my best new blogging buddies, Debra She Who Seeks, asked me to use my song for her blog..I had only been blogging about a week, and I just couldn't believe that someone would want to do this...Cool beyond measure..
  I wrote this song about a year ago..I woke up at around 4AM with the first line and the melody very clear in my head..I got up to write it down and the whole thing just flowed out effortlessly..I wish they were all that easy to write..  I am now going to attempt to do my first link!?!  If this doesn't work just go on over to SHEWHOSEEKS the long way... You Can't Keep A Good Girl Down

GIVE THANKS SUNDAY....

Take a moment to breathe in..gently close your eyes and give thanks for all the wonderful things in your life.. BREATHE IN GRATITUDE  slowly to the count of five...EXHALE LOVE for the count of five...

ONE THING LEADS TO ANOTHER...

It all started innocently enough....I had boxes of broken rosaries, wads of tangled chain, religious medals, bits and bobs of broken jewelry parts sitting collecting dust in my work room...I was having a good clean out and when I got to this stuff I had to ponder...Salvation Army? Box it all up and sell it at my next flea market?? I wondered... Some of the stuff was just way too cool to give up...Maybe I can fix it!!...I still had some jewelry tools from the 70's when I took come classes at the community college..I'll just bring this stuff in the house, sit at my kitchen table with it and try and repair some of it....Fine...good start....But then I needed some jump rings...then a little bit of sterling chain.... a clasp... some little crystal beads.. another pliers .. brass wire ... brass wire in 18 guage... in 24 guage.. My little fix it project grew... Pretty soon I was at that table for 8 hours...Then I went to a bead show.. BIG GIGANTIC TROUBLE..... Beads and beads and more beads... mountains of them... AND I WANTED THEM ALL!!! ... It's been just over a year that I began "my little project"..... My kitchen table has not had a dish or bowl or plate set on it in ages.. I haven't seen the wood of the tabletop in eons. It is covered, saturated, filled with " My Little Project" REGRETS?? Another fine mess I got myself into? Yet another enterprise that I'll start and not finish? I think not.. People like my jewelry..I have been known to sell it right off my neck..Another little sideline for me that I find fullfillment in. Sometimes this is how the course of our lives goes... One thing leads to another and another and with that comes the growth and the progress and the joy and delight one gets from the seemily little things...

YOU LIKE ME, YOU REALLY LIKE ME....

I'm going to just jump right in uncensored and thank you all so much for the uplifting, supportive comments I received.. I did not write the post with the intention of getting flattered or for people to tell me how wonderful I am....I hate false flattery.. and self pity... But I am truly amazed how out of the thousands of people out there I have attracted such a loving and supportive group of people... Cheers to you all...I want you to know that I do not go around ( all the time) in food stained sweats with greasy hair ...I love to dress up even for the most modest occasions.. I shower and wash my hair daily...I work out hard at Yoga class almost everyday...Beatnheart's heart beats with a passion for life with an intense desire to improve and be the best she can be...I have taken the vow to no longer sit on the sidelines and watch the popular girls and boys have fun...I know I can easily fall into old patterns of I'm not good enough.. I have been there and done that a million and one times... I have every intention of moving forward and learning from my past mistakes. I have always thought that when a person gets older they slow down... You can't teach an old dog new tricks and all of that... I feel my life has just begun in many ways and all the old garbage has been properly disposed of and I am left with a clean slate...and a chance to be the woman I have always wanted to be... I jumped head first into doing this blog... I have never written anything nor displayed my feelings in such a public fashion... The benefits have astounded me!! I want to thank spellcheck from the bottom of my heart for without you I couldn't have done all of this.

I would also like to thank Sally Fields for her famous quote and to those of you who got it and my sense of humor.  For the rest of you...toodles.

IN A FUNK...

Today, after reading my favorite blog Tongue In Cheek, I am simply at a loss for words... My feelings of inadequacy are rearing their ugly head and I just feel that anything I have to say and anyway that I try to present it will come across as bland, insipid, boring and dull.... This is what has stopped me in my tracks in the past...If I can't do it perfectly or "be the best" well then I'd rather not do it at all....I'll sit on the sidelines while I watch others succeed...Maybe I'll eat a candy bar or two to make myself feel better.....or I'll be angry....or hurt... or feel sorry for myself and respond with some sort of totally misplaced frustration toward myself or others.... The grey days I described yesterday have been replaced by sunny, blue, glorious skies...but today the greyness is in my heart and in my head....I fear so much of being ridiculed that I simply do nothing at all..... I isolate...I overeat or drink or watch tv...and the vicious cycle repeats itself... .When I feel I can never be as good as others , I do nothing ..... If I don't do anything there is nothing to ridicule...so the real me, the best that I can be is hidden away in baggy clothes, unwashed hair , inappropriate behavior, loudness, crudeness... I act in the exact opposite of what I want to be....what I admire in other women....